See 'nuclear_bomb' for more !
From: David Palmer
.------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| H O W T O M A K E A T H E R M O N U C L E A R D E V I C E |
'------------------------------------------------------------------------'
If you enjoyed building the transporter device I recently described, you'll
really love this one - it will make you an even bigger hit at parties.
1. .--------. Visit your local junk yard and get a lead box or if you
|========| can't find one, use an old coffee can.
| |
| ------ | Obtain 107kg of weapons grade Plutonium. This is readily
| Coffee | available from the Russian Mafia.
| ------ | Wash your hands after handling and don't allow children
| | or pets to eat it). Store the Plutonium in the can.
|________|
2. ______
____|[____]|____
| |
| |
| | You'll need a metal enclosure to house the device.
| | Any common variety of sheet metal can be bent to the
| | desired shape as can a metal briefcase but DO NOT use
| | aluminium foil.
| |
| |
|________________|
3.
.-:##:-.
/ |##| \ Arrange the Plutonium in two hemisphere held 3cm apart by
| |##| | rubber cement.
\ |##| /
`-:##:-'
4.
_.-""""-._
.' `.
/ .-:##:-. \ Pack the outside of the Plutonium with a thick layer of
| / |##| \ | gelignite. If you can't get gelignite you can used TNT
| | |##| | | packed in Playdo or any modeling clay. It is acceptable
| \ |##| / | to use coloured clay but there's no need for anything
\ `-:##:-' / fancy.
`._ _.'
`-....-'
5.
______
____|[____]|____
| _.-""""-._ |
| .' `. |
|/ .-:##:-. \|
| / |##| \ | Fix the structure to the inside of the metal case using
| | |##| | | strong glue such as SupaGlue or similar. This must be a
| \ |##| / | firm bond to prevent accidental detonation resulting from
|\ `-:##:-' /| vibration or mishandling.
| `._ _.' |
|____`-....-'____|
6. ______
____|[____]|____
| | Attach an RC (radio controlled) servo mechanism as used
| | in model aircraft and cars to the case and fix a small
| __ | plunger to the servo.
| /MM\ |
| \WW/ | Remote detonation is achieved when the plunger strikes a
| | detonator cap. These can be found in the electrical supply
| | section of your local supermarket. A good brand to look
| | out for is "Blasto-O-Matic".
|________________|
You are now the pround owner of what used to be known as an "Atom Bomb".
Theoretically the device works when the denotated TNT compresses the Plutonium
into a crital mass. This critical mass produces a nuclear chain reaction
similar to the domino effect (named after the disasterous domino incident in
Hiroshima in 1945 in which thousands of people died). The chain reaction
instantaneously produces a massive thermonuclear reaction commonly known as a
10 megaton explosion.
See 'cartoon' for more !
/\
/ \
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|U |
|S |
|A |
/^\ /^\
|||==||| o__o
||| +||| |/\|
|+| |+| |\/|
| |+ | | |/\|
| |==| | |\/|
|_|__|_| |/\|
(/ /\\/. \\) |\/|
(/()///\)\;)\) |/\|
_((/'/ //(='\)(\\))_ |\/|
(( ( (/( /) \) ' \) ))|/\|
___(( (( ..( '+))() . )) ))__|
___/_______________________________\______
jro
////\ ((((
/( o o O-O-)
\ o/ \- /
/\|/\ () /\|/\
// ' \\ || // . \\
========================
"It's a beautiful launch, Dr Benzine. Now, you
were saying that these so-called "protesters" to
the Saturn Probe are really a bunch of idiots,
because if they wanted to bitch about something,
they could be complaining about the rocket exhaust,
instead of a little harmless plutonium aboard the
space probe...."
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ASCII Character Codes:
p = ASCII 112
l = ASCII 108
u = ASCII 117
t = ASCII 116
o = ASCII 111
n = ASCII 110
i = ASCII 105
u = ASCII 117
m = ASCII 109
Capitalised:
P = ASCII 80
L = ASCII 76
U = ASCII 85
T = ASCII 84
O = ASCII 79
N = ASCII 78
I = ASCII 73
U = ASCII 85
M = ASCII 77
Links:
centrifugally.ascii.uk
apotheosised.ascii.uk
stereotypic.ascii.uk
anticommunists.ascii.uk
assassinist.ascii.uk
remeeting.ascii.uk
plumiped.ascii.uk
bonitarian.ascii.uk
ableptically.ascii.uk
experimentally.ascii.uk